Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Thinking of You (Kames) by OnTheRise


I felt blood oozing from my abdomen as I shakily fell to the floor.
"James! James!" I heard a familiar voice calling out to me with my hearing impaired and my sight ablur.
"Huh?" I managed to mutter.
"James!" the voice shouted again.
My blurred sight was now shaded by someone blocking the prickly sunlight. I could feel the person's tears falling down my face and my heart felt an ache realizing who it was as my sight adjusted.
"K-kendall?" I stuttered trying to sit up.


"Y-yeah, it's me," he replied helping me sit up.
"Kendall, i'm s-sorr---" I tried to form words but coughed up blood which hindered my speech.
"Hush babe, don't worry, the ambulance will be here any minute now," Kendall tried to be optimistic though the worry in the tone of his voice was so evident it made James' heart ache harder.
"I love you, Kendall," I told him feeling my vision failing me again as i tried my hardest to focus on Kendall's face for it might as well be the last time i'd be able to do so.
"I love you too, James," he sobbed holding my hand. I felt him take hold of my hand and then his lips on the back of my palm.
I couldn't help but chuckle.
"What's so funny?" he asked me, voice cracking.
"It's just... this is the first time you told me you loved me," I smiled looking at his porcelain green eyes.
"James, I--- i always have... loved you," Kendall replied in between sobs trying his best to give his boyfriend a smile.
I looked up at the blue cloudless sky as i felt my body growing numb.
"Hey Kendall," I asked, my gaze still fixed on the sky.
"Yes James?" he looked up at me smiling but I couldn't help but notice how clammy and shaky his hands were now.
"I know this might not be a good time but... can you do me a favor?" I asked.
"Anything," Kendall replied leaning in closer  to me.
"Marry me?" I replied. I slowly took a small box out of my chest pocket and opened it revealing two simple but stunning rings.
I heard Kendall gasp before he looked at the rings to me. I felt my already failing heart leap out of my chest as he nodded and leaned down to kiss me.
I felt fireworks going off as I let him devour my mouth, taking in every second of it. It was nice how Kendall could smell like cinnamon and strawberries,  the scent suited him well.
Kendall broke the kiss and looked down at me with tear-stained cheeks.
"I-I don't wanna lose you, James," he squeaked.
"Hush," I smiled wiping a tear away and slowly placing the ring on his finger.
"...with this ring, i thee wed," I whispered as i kept my gaze on him.
Kendall then took the other ring in the box and slipped it on my bloody finger.
"...with this ring, i thee wed," Kendall said smiling and crying at the same time.
"I love you," I muttered as I felt my last breath drawing close.
I couldn't hear anything after that expect for the loud siren the ambulance was making and the sound of people shouting as i heard metal clinging together and different needles getting patched to me.
Was I dead? I pondered as I opened my eyes to the brightness of the morning.
I thought i was dreaming when I saw Kendall looking out the window. He looked dishevelled but was still beautiful beyond doubt.
"K-kendall?" I asked in a hoarse voice. I saw his head turn, eyes growing wide and I could've sworn he was in tears again.
:James y-you're---" Kendall said looking for the right words to say.
"...you never really did give me a reply or an answer to what i said back there," I smiled at him wiping a tear off his cheek.
"I... what?" He asked me confused.
"I love you," I chuckled and smiled lovingly at him.
"I love you too, my dear husband," Kendall replied with the same warmth in his smile.
At that moment, I felt my heart leap as I pulled Kendall to a kiss which seemed to last forever. I didn't really mind if it did as long as I was with Kendall, everything will be fine.
I didn't care if I was dead or alive as long as I know I could have him in my arms.
*
"We are gathered here today to mourn on...." the priest went on as Kendall wept shakily on his seat.
If only he could turn back time and be there at the exact moment the bomb exploded, James would still be here. If only he could've joined the army like James, he would've been able to pull him out of harms way. If only he could've protected James like he was supposed to as his boyfriend.
So many 'ifs.' Kendall pondered as James' coffin got slowly rolled down the earth.
Kendall stared at the red rose in his hands giving iy a kiss before throwing it on top of James' coffin along with the white roses that came forth.
"I love you," Kendall whispered as the earth devoured the coffin, keeping the red rose in view.

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